Sunday, 31 May 2009

t-bone steak with garlic, fennel seeds and merlot verjus

Leonardo da Vinci was quoted as saying "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." and really, it's so true when it comes to food.

Sunday evenings often call for something simple, usually because:

a) you're still hungover as all hell or

b) you've spent the afternoon lazing, and the concept of cooking something involving more than three ingredients is daunting.

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Ingredients:

T-bone steak. The reason why I like any meat on the bone is that it often carries a lot more flavour and the bone conducts heat, cooking it evenly. Pick a good quality piece of meat, with a bit of marbling. Something too lean won't be as juicy or tasty.

1 tsp olive oil

1 tsp fennel seeds

1 clove of garlic, crushed

Salt and pepper to taste

Merlot verjus (experiment with others if you like. Mine is by the Essential Ingredient.)

Method:

Toast the fennel seeds in a hot fry pan for 1 min to get them to release their oils. Remove.

Season the steak liberally on both sides with salt and pepper.

Mix olive oil, fennel seeds and crushed garlic to vaguely resemble a paste. Rub on both sides of the steak and let it sit for 15-20 minutes (if you have time) to let the flavours chat each other up.

If you want to do this version 'full fat', melt a small knob of butter into a pan, otherwise rice bran oil is the best of the vegetable oils because of its high smoking point and absolutely neutral flavour.

Once the pan is searingly hot, whack the steak in. I like to use a skillet because it gives beautifully charred lines.

Depending on the thickness of the steak and how well done you like it, to quote Peter Russell Clarke "F*cking fry the c*nts till they go black, ya pr*cks." (I love you, PRC)

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Personally, I like it rare and 1 1/2 minutes on each side is plenty (resist the urge to keep turning. Once on each side is the goal.)

Here's a good tip for testing the 'rarity' of your meat:

Press your finger to your chin. That's medium. Your cheek: That's rare. Your forehead: That's well done (and in my mind, overdone).

When the steak is done, remove from the pan and set aside to rest for a minute or two. This will allow the juices to relax back into the meat.

Pour a good splash of Merlot verjus into the still-hot-pan and use a wooden spoon to scrape the bits of garlic and fennel goodness stuck to the pan.

Pour the steak jus over the t-bone and serve with a salad of greens and grape tomatoes, drizzled with good olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

So there you have it: Simple Sunday steak, fooderati style.

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

the falconer

The Falconer
31 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
NSW 2010.
02 9267 8434

Sydney has an obsession with supersizing. Whether it’s a shopping centre (or ‘mall’ if you prefer), club or bar, chances are you’ll find some kind of behemoth version of it somewhere in this town. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but sometimes – particularly when the weather gets cooler – the desire to find a cosy hole in the wall with a good glass of wine and your favourite people is pretty strong. And in this case, small is seriously good.

Melbourne seems to have small, intimate bars in spades and, Sydney may just follow in the same direction, with the Falconer setting the benchmark for character-filled watering holes in urban spaces.

Hidden amongst the fast food, modified cars and thumping beat of lower Oxford Street, the Falconer has been open less than a year and has already become a favourite haunt of the Surry Hills kids who give a damn about great atmosphere, an interesting wine selection and appreciate a good record collection.

Taking over the location of Sydney stalwart Aristotle’s, this Italian-peppered cafe-slash-bar has thoughtfully maintained that worn-in art deco vibe. The cosy booths, record player and that old real estate chestnut ‘original features’ lend themselves to an old-world speak easy feel, coupled with a little hipster cool via the stylish clientele. Expect a music selection ranging anywhere from Joan as Police Woman to Bowie, with a pit stop through classic timeless tracks with style.

Regardless of your musical persuasions though, it’s all about the small, dark bar mood and the easygoing service. Drop into a booth and peruse the succinct wine menu containing drops from this side of the pond as well as Italian, French and Spanish vinos. Try the unepectedly earthy Domaine Lafond Cotes du rhone with your fall-off-the-bone braised veal shanks or a tickly Bellussi prosecco with a mixed entree of fontina-fortified arancini balls, sugar-cured Petuna ocean trout and bresaola, for those who want to branch out from typical sparkling wines and try something new.

On the beer front, it’s all about Italian offerings like Birra Messina (a feisty Sicilian) and Peroni Gran Riserva, both of which are bloody good, but really, who can resist a Coopers longneck for true Australian style?

Caffeine injections here are made with care and attention to detail – that is to say the boys here give a damn about a good coffee as much as the affordable, quality winelist.

A perfect drop-by-after-work spot, take advantage of the $20 pasta and glass of wine special which is guaranteed to be a thousand times better than anything else you’re likely to find from here to Crown Street. But whether it’s a coffee, an after work vino or a meal, chances are you’ll want to linger over your glass and watch the rain from your warm, cosy confines.


yultide at restaurant atelier

22 Glebe Point Road
Glebe NSW
Australia 2037
+61 2 9566 2112

Pork really has had a huge slogging in the press lately. I mean, seriously what did these cute, tasty little friends do to deserve such a bad wrap? Someone recently said to me that half the world's problems are related to people who traditionally don't eat the princely porcine...and whilst that's a sweeping (and very un-PC) generalisation, it is about time to bring peace (and pork) back on the world's menu.

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Aussie farmers haven't had a great time over the past decade either, and in particular, pork producers have been battling to make it clear that all Australian pork is free from H1N1 (which is a human virus and not transmitted by pigs) and perfectly fine to eat.

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Coming into the cooler months when heartier food warms the hearth and the heart, there's nothing better than biting into crisp crackling and tender meat - those northern hemisphere dwellers certainly are lucky that it's actually cold at Christmas.

To this effect, Australian Pork put on a yultide celebration of great Autralian pork produce at Restaurant Atelier in Sydney's Glebe, complete with spangled wreath on the front door of the iconic terrace house venue.

Chef Darren Templeman (a Yorkshire boy who knows his way around a pig or two) and his capable kitchen regaled guests with pork neck rillettes, an assiette of honey-glazed pork hock cut with the tartness of apples, grilled pickled loin of pork and (the crowd favourite), the pulled pork neck salad with Crystal Bay prawn. Given the bad wrap I've apparently had for pulled pork, I'm very happy to say it was satisfyingly relaxed, tender and contrasted well with the firm texture of the prawn.

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If the pork party on the plate for entree wasn't enough, the boned shoulder with winter herb cure and pot-roasted rack would certainly have pushed people over the edge into pork perfection - the rack especially showcasing the fact that moisture-infused pork can be haute as well as hot.

Diners sipped matched wines from..you guessed it, Piggs Peake winery. Steve
Langham (aka. Boss Hog) was on hand to lend some colour to the room with his neon bright shirt and great sense of humour, not in the least exhibited in the names of his piglets (his wines). Sowvignon blanc anyone?

A yultide dinner to be remembered...at least until December.

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A special thanks to the bloggers (you know how you are!) who were on hand to snap everything that moved, sparkled or vaguely resembled anything edible...your dedication to the persuit of sharing great food is an inspiration! The gauntlet has been thrown down - what will you do with the rack of pork you recieved in your goodie bag?

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(image: Darren imparting much needed pork-knowledge to hungry ears)


Tuesday, 26 May 2009

formaggi ocello

Shop 16,
425 Bourke Street,
Surry Hills
1300 134 986

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When the banners lining Sydney's CBD street lights are splashed with red, white and green, this can only mean one thing: The Italian Festival has come to town.

Sydney siders are well versed in all things Italian, if the number of pizzerias, trattorias and "Mama Mia's" are anything to go by, but there's always room for more eating, drinking and dancing in this town so "Viva Italiano', I say.

Last night, Formaggi Ocello hosted its part of the festival to showcase their staggering selection of cheeses from France, Australia, and of course, Italy (to name but a few states of cheese heaven).

Guests were treated to a talk by Carmello Ocello about his dedication to the artisan craft. And then there was the cheese...with over 200 varieties to oggle, including Pont-l'Évêque, hand made cheeses topped with flowers and Holy Goat's La Luna, recently voted #1 Cheese (aka. Big Cheese) at the recent Vogue Entertaining and Travel produce awards.

No canapes here, but freshly sliced baguettes were topped with Ocello's fine produce including mascapone and hot smoked trout. Truffled mushroom arancini balls were consumed at a rate of knots, as were rolls were filled with tomato, buffalo mozzarella and basil. Finally, Ocello presented their own version of 'meat on sticks' - proscuitto de Parma wrapped around grissini - now that's gotta give a festival dagwood dog a run for it's money.

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The Sydney Italian festival runs until the 8th of June, so check out the website for program details, including cooking workshops with Sydney's finest, dining specials and every bit of Maria Venuti.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

bodega bar and tapas

(published in 3DWorld Magazine)


Shop 1
216 Commonwealth St
Surry Hills 2010 NSW
Phone: (02) 9212 7766
www.bodegatapas.com


That Shakespearian quote; ‘If music be the food of love, play on’ has a point. Music nourishes the soul as much as good food does the body, so it stands to reason that if a venue has both in good measure; they’re probably onto a good thing. You might hear anything from Rufus Wainwright or the Kings of Leon (when they were good), to ubiquitous jazz in this dimly lit, stylish slice of Surry Hills but all of it is designed to keep the atmosphere pumping and the conversation rolling.

Owners Ben Milgate & Elvis Abrahamowicz certainly could have been 50’s rock’n’rollers, for all their tattoos, the quiffs and the hefty amount of style and harmony that goes into each dish that rolls out of this busy cocina.

‘Tapas’ automatically makes most think ‘Spanish’, but what you really should be thinking is ‘oh goody’. Elvis Abrahamowicz’s Argentinean background and travels through South America and Spain culminate in dishes created with eclectic flavours and textures from across the Latin world and beyond.

For instance, his fish fingers aren’t exactly the kind you’re likely to find in the frozen section at your local supermarket. Here, they come in the form of generous slices of Kingfish sashimi on garlic crostini with cuttlefish cerviche and mojama.

For more traditional offerings, there are corn tamale with black beans and avocado – served in the corn husk. At $20, this isn’t exactly road-side Mexican cuisine but it’s worth trying for its sweet corn flavour and soft texture.

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Regardless of your taste or persuasions, whether you’re vegetarian, pescatarian or a full-blown omnivore, chances are you’ll find something to please the palate. And if you happen to be the latter, try the steamed pork belly salad with onions and shitake mushrooms; a true porcine lover’s match.

Dessert generally pleases all though, and the banana split is a thing of beauty. A velvety vanilla-bean custard flan is dished up with dulce de leche ice cream, ginger biscuits and what can only be described as banana mess. It’s creamy, it’s sweet without being cloying and it’s worth the 50km run you’ll need to work it off.

Not quite be the ‘local corner store selling wine’, as the bar’s name implies, there is a great selection of Chilean, Argentinean and Spanish vinos on offer by the glass (starting at $10) or the bottle. Beers and ciders of the same origin go perfectly with the chorizo with sofrito paste or the flaky pastry-filled empanadas of spiced pumpkin and fetta (3 for $10).

Bodega’s sense of humour comes through in the cocktail menu and is worth a look-in; the passionfruit, mint and lime-infused Surly Temple will surely put you in a better mood, whilst the pomegranate molasses-flavoured Eva Patron probably won’t have Argentina crying for you.

If it’s a glass of wine, a chat and a few bites to eat, or a full blown fiesta, arrive early to avoid disappointment or be prepared to wait, because bookings don’t feature on this menu. On the upside though, everything great about tapas and sharing good food and drink in general, is.

(top image courtesy of Bodega Bar and Tapas)


Monday, 18 May 2009

so you're going to tokyo

The GFC may be making more than a few people nervous about the state of things to come, but the upshot is that many things -including airfares- are going for fire sale prices.

If you happen to be heading to Tokyo, here's an email I drafted for some friends who headed over earlier in the year.. it's an amazing place but one that requires a little research to get the best out of your experience.

A few tips from my experiences in Tokyo.

First stop, download and print out Tokyo's Superfuture City maps. Drafted by some of the coolest people in the know, if you're into fashion, design, art, food or culture, you'll want (nay, need) these:

Superfuture City Maps: Tokyo


Get:

- Make sure you get a copy of Wallpaper Guide to Tokyo. Its small and handy to take around with you and loaded with unmissable shopping, cultural and design tips.

- If you in Tokyo for more than a few days, get a weekly pass for the JR (subway), it works out a bit cheaper than buying tickets on the fly.

- A subway map in romaji (Anglocised Japanese) - this will help you get around a lot easier on public transport.

Do:

- If you are there on a Sunday, make sure you get off the train at Harajuku station, turn right and walk towards the bridge that takes you into Yoyogi Park (the Meiji Bridge). Here, you'll find lots of crazy kids dressed up, posing for tourist photos..that's right, they're here for you. Look out for the old guy singing U2 covers.

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The Meiji shrine, inside the park is a haven of zen in a crazy city - beautiful and well worth the walk inside.

- Try Mos Burger and Freshness burger. Japanese burger chain takes on Western food with brilliant results!

mos mel































- Eat hot dogs from street stalls. The guy below (ex-navy) spoke perfect Japanese beneath his Uncle Sam hat.


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- Take a camera everywhere..especially for random people sleeping in cafes and funny translated signs.

Food:

Check out my blog entries for more food finds.


Where and why you'd go there:


Shinjuku for crazy sneakers, the crossing filmed in Lost in Translation, and everything from cute undies, t-shirts and hats. Visit Tokyu hands for a deparment store that has EVERYTHING.


Aoyoma for designer stuff and amazing store architecture - bape exclusive, y3, miu miu, tsumori chisato, comme des garcon, etc. Don't buy food or eat there unless you want to pay $7 for a coke or coffee.


Harajuku for cheap thrill gifts, crazy atmosphere and a Camden market (London) vibe. Walk right down and the road will take you up to Omotesando, past the Marc by Marc Jacobs store and out to the front of the Colonial looking Ralph Lauren building.


Omotesando (a boulevard starting from Harajuku station and heading away) for the Tods, Dior, Bvlgari and other design-consious buildings. Here, you'll also find Kiddy Land. Not nearly as creepy as it sounds, it's a multi-storey Japanese toy bonanza. If you can't handle kids, crowds or pastel colours, walk away, FAST.

Turn down the lane beside the Bvlgari, hang a right at the Lanvin store and find the best dumpling house in Tokyo.

On the street level of Omotesando Hills (a shopping complex), find Forbidden Fruit - a juice and hot dog cafe. The German hot dog, stuffed with sauerkraut and fried onions is heaven on a bun.


Ueno for market stalls selling everything from perfume, shoes, hats, amazing t-shirts..and fish? Amazing vintage camera stores abound (you may find that vintage Leica you've been looking for)..look out for basement and hidden away stores above street level.


Meguro for really cool design and furniture stores, vintage clothing and Americana as well as a steak house with a WWF theme. Stop at the Claska for breakfast/dinner/lunch/drinks - its where the uber cool Tokyo set come to play. Dogman (cute dog grooming parlour) lives here too.


Shibuya has a bit of everything - like Tokyo condensed.


Roppongi nightlife. There are plenty of bars and clubs in this upmarket area if you want to throw down a few and party.


Ginza primarily a CBD area, there are also a lot of upmarket shops in this part of town. Think the well-heeled masses and their designer get-up.


Tsukiji one of the greatest fish markets in the world..and most of it is open to the public. Wander around and oggle fresh fish, other ocean produce, piles of smoky bonito flakes, the rare, the large and the bizarre..and the best part? Being able to eat sashimi before 8am. Not everyone's cup of tea (or should I say, 'plate of fish') but it is certainly an experience you'll never forget.

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Places to stay

Mackin' it

There are of course, the predictable 5 star numbers you can rest your weary bones at, but if you don't mind staying a little way out, I'd recommend the Claska. It's one of Tokyo's only boutique hotels and houses 9 individually designed rooms, restaurant (the very hip Kiokuh) an art gallery, bookstore and dog grooming salon (Japanese dogs are SUPA KAWAII and very well behaved!). If you're lucky, the ladies will even let you play with their fluffy clients.

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http://www.claska.com/en/

Depending on the exchange rate, it's a few hundred $AUD a night but the service (and the food in the restaurant) are impeccably boutique Japan. Worth going for a meal at Kiokuh even if you don't stay.

Areas

If you want to stay a little more central, look for accommodation in the following suburbs:

Shibuya, Shinjuku. Areas like Minato-ku and Chuo-ku (which house the Roppongi and Ginza districts) are choc full of hotels..and are not too far from where you want to be.

Ryokans

If you're after the 'traditional' Japanese experience, there are Ryokans (small Japanese inns) which offer the experience of staying in a more homely environment and these are often a lot cheaper (and more basic) than the hotel option.

Two good ones in relatively central locations (be wary..lots of ryokans are in out of the way places, away from central Tokyo):

Kimi (Ikebukuro): http://www.kimi-ryokan.jp/
Tama (Shinjuku): http://www.tamaryokan.com/

Lastly, Speak (absolute essentials):

Sumimasen (soo-mee-mass-en) - sorry/excuse me

(subject) Onegaishimasu (oh-knee-guy-she-mass) - please (add it after you ask for something.)

Hai (high) - yes

Iie (eee-yeah) - no

So that's it! The basics of getting around Tokyo according to Fooderati..hope you find them useful!

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

the local



122 Flinders St
Darlinghurst, NSW 2010
(02) 9360 0088

www.thelocal.com.au

Steve, Guy and Electra really love their beer. And though you may not know them yet, they’re sure to be your new drinking buddies at The Local. It's their taphouse, after all.

Beer bars aren’t really a new trend; though many of Sydney’s beer-specific watering holes like Red Oak and the Lowenbrau exist in the CBD or the Rocks. Surry Hills and Darlinghurst hipsters, vagabonds and...Well, locals, now have a beer bar (aka. ‘Taphouse’) all to themselves.

Taking over the old Palace pub space, slightly off the beaten Oxford Street track, This Sydney instalment of the original Local in St Kilda, Melbourne has created a space that not only retains an old-school pub vibe, but includes features like bird-cage light fixtures, vintage store mirrors and sloping dark wood that hints at something a little special going on here, too.

If your knowledge of beer stops at Coopers, be prepared for a lesson in beer-onomics. Helpful staff and wood-bound (man-friendly) 32-page beer bibles will take you through an encyclopaedic range of Aussie and across-the-pond European and American beers.

You’ll also gain a crash course in everything from what to look for when tasting, ingredient descriptions and distinctions between lagers and ales and their various guises. Feel like boning up on your study? Take a (beer) flight through stouts, pilsners and bocks with a sample paddle, which will allow you to try up to five beers from the menu so you can decide if you’re a Grand Ridge Moonshine or a Rogue Old Crustacean.

If all that study makes you hungry, there’s a beer-friendly menu ranging from charcuterie (cured meats, house made pate, marinated veggies), vegetarian antipasto boards and nibble-worthy whitebait and chilli-dusted frites.

In the mood for mussels? There are three styles to choose from, including the rich, saucy tomato-based Provencal featuring a generous heap of meaty mussels in a spicy, herby Bridge Road Chevalier Saison broth. Be sure to ask for extra bread because this broth is worth savouring.

Like the beer book, the menu contains a hefty range of choices including juicy gour-met burgers, complete with beer battered onion rings, artisan style pizzas, fresh seafood and Viking-friendly dishes like charred bratwurst and a bang-up tender, medium rare eye fillet. Marinated in beer of course. And which beer to drink with your meal? The biblically-proportionate menu has an answer for that, too: each menu item has a suggested suitable bitter, weizen or saison to for you to sip on.

There might seem to be a bit of information overload happening at this posh pub, but don’t let it faze you. Take in as much or as little information as you want – these guys are passionate about sharing their knowledge and love of the brew with anyone who wants to know. But as the beer book (page 28, paragraph 3) dictates, ‘There are no beer experts, just beer drinkers with opinions.’

The Local Taphouse may not necessarily be your local, but if you’re in any way keen on beer, you’re sure to find the trip worthwhile.

Monday, 11 May 2009

wine odyssey winners



Contgratulations to Laura and Tina for winning a double pass each to Wine Odyssey Australia.

Thank you to everyone who entered...I'll be running more exciting competitions in the near future.

Enjoy the journey...!

Fooderati

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

oprah gives away kfc vouchers

A recent move by Oprah.com to endorse and give away KFC vouchers to United States residents has caused a tiny bit more than a kerfuffle in the chicken coop called the interwebs.

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Sensationalist journalists are quick to jump to the obvious gripe that an icon of Oprah's stature really shouldn't be encouraging young people to consume junk food, after all the work she has done to support positive body image perceptions amongst America's youth.

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The upshot of the promotion is (they hope) a winning alliance with KFC's new 'Unthink KFC' brand campaign, as the fast food giants make McDonalds-esque moves towards a healthier alternative - in this case grilled chicken as an alternative to the Southern-fried goodness we've come to know and get fat-just-sniffing.

Check out the nutritional panel here. It states there's just 1 gram of saturated fat in pieces other than the thigh, which has 2.5 grams. There's surprisingly no sugar, but there does happen to be a pretty high dosage of the old Harold Holt (err, salt). Franky, I'd be surprised if it were low in everything considered by dieticians to be 'bad'.

So, there are several issues here:

- Should Oprah be promoting KFC, even if they are making moves towards healthier food alternatives?

- If the assumption is that Americans are going to eat it anyway, is KFC doing more or less harm than good by giving chicken away?

- And more relevant to this foodie, what the hell does it taste like?

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(image source: Oprah.com and KFC.com)

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

it's all greek to me

George's Bar and Grill

The Promenade
King Street Wharf
Sydney NSW 2000

Phone (02) 9295 5066
Fax (02) 9295 5033

Greek food in Australia doesn't have nearly the presence its Mediterranean counterparts such as Italy or even Turkey and Spain enjoy, despite sharing the unified qualities of simple, clean-flavoured dishes with an emphasis on seafood, good quality olive oil and lots of fresh salad ingredients.




























You probably recall at least one bad souvlaki incident in your past and more than one crap "Greek" salad, complete with rock-hard fetta (Greek fetta should be creamy and made of sheep or goat's milk) and old Kalamatta olives.

Maria Benardis is a woman on a mission to change all that. Her tour de force attitude and passion for smashing Greek cuisine myths (rather than plates) was showcased at a recent Greek Festival dinner, held at George's Bar and Grill in Sydney.


























Intended to give punters a taste of ancient Greece, the meal focused on historically documented ingredients, methods and philosophies, taken into the new world by Benardis' keen eye and carefully honed palate to create a degustation not just focused on recreating history but demonstrating the new heights of modern Greek cuisine.

Yes, there was lamb, souvlaki and "Greek" salad, but these are interpreted Benardis' way:





























Mastic, a ingredient cloaked in mystery for its healing and subtly eucalypt properties, is infused into prawns, and then wrapped in crisp, web-like kataïfi pastry.

Swordfish souvlaki is infused with fennel seeds and grilled, rendering it fall-apart tender. This is followed by delicately pink fetta-rubbed lamb with pomegranate peppered dressing.

Not satisfied with creating new dishes for her catering company, Benardis also runs a cooking school and a culinary tour through the country of her heritage. Her goal is to educate and share her encyclopaedic knowledge of Greek food and culture with anyone who takes their food seriously or just wants to know more.

Check out greekalicious.com.au. for the details and you'll be yelling 'Yasou!' in no time.

(image source: greekalicious.com.au)

Monday, 4 May 2009

pig panic

According to the mass media, if the past few weeks are anything to go by, we're in the middle of a full blown pandemic. They'll have you believe that if you merely look sideways at a piece of bacon, pork cutlet or a Mexican, you're (bacon on) toast.
















Whilst the news can be a powerful source of information, you don't need to be deeply cynical to be aware of the fact that the press will report anything these days, as long as it sells. And sensationalism might sell newspapers, but the flipside is that there's always a fall out. In this case, Australian pork producers have been battling to defend the fact that Aussie pork products are more than fine to consume: As if Australian farmers haven't had enough of a tough time lately.

With the intent of setting the record straight, here are a few facts about Swine flu, aka. H1N1 aka. Mexican flu (the Israelis won't say 'swine'):

Are we at risk? The short answer is a big, fat, oinking 'NO'

- Swine flu is a mutated combination of AVIAN, swine and human flu strands.

- The illness developed initially from swine to human; however you cannot contract the illness from hanging out with our pink little friends in Australia.

- The World Health Organisation (WHO) maintains that it is safe to eat properly prepared and handled pork.

In Egypt, the cull of 300,000 pigs was met with anger and frustration by farmers, and fair cop – it was completely unnecessary, says Brian Whitaker of the Guardian (UK), going on to state, as many have, that it’s not a swine influenza, but a human one.

So put down the panic, pick up a fork and get back to the Berkshire...cos the only bad porkies are the ones ill-informed journalists are spreading

Image sourced from here.